On Friday, The Huffington Post led with the most important story of the day: women are now into fish sex. As in nailing the salmon, curing the whitefish, coring the tuna, smoking the sea bass. Yes, ladies are now apparently interested in the motion of the ocean. Why? Because all men are pigs, and hey, if you’ve gotta choose the seafood or the pork, better to sleep with the fishes than feed with the hogs.
Even as pathetic, self-pitying men complain about the problem of involuntary celibacy, pathetic, self-pitying women are now supposedly fantasizing about Flipper. Here’s Claire Fallon:
Time for the easiest game of “if you loved this movie, read this book” ever: If you loved “The Shape of Water,” a movie about fish sex, you should definitely read The Pisces by Melissa Broder, a book about fish sex. The cover literally shows a woman in an amorous clinch with a fish; the novel actually tells the story of a woman who has a torrid love affair with a merman. Now, one fish-f***ing opus in the space of a year might be a blip. Two seems very much like a trend. (We might even call it three, considering last summer’s Made for Love by Alissa Nutting, in which a male romance scammer, after a fantastical sea-bathing accident, becomes exclusively attracted to dolphins. Though, to be clear, dolphins are not fish.)
What explains this sudden love for sexual pescatarians? Men, of course. Horrible, horrible men. Cruel, horrible, evil men. Here’s Fallon:
Read more at the Daily Wire.